Losing Control
by MadamAirlock
Summary: Janeway and Chakotay end up trapped in a cave with unknown and powerful effects.
1. Chapter 1

Clouds of dust filled the air and the sound of falling rocks echoed off the walls to create and never-ending cacophony. The cave gave a final, large shudder and then everything fell still and quiet. Single beams of sunlight broke through the openings in the top of the cave, refracting off everything in the air before dimly hitting the ground.

Kathryn coughed and brushed the bits of rock off herself as she sat up, blinking her eyes until they teared up. Her fingers immediately went to her combadge, but the communicator didn't so much as chirp when she pressed it. She tried again and again, and she was ready to try a fourth time when she heard more falling rocks and movement beside her.

"Chakotay?"

"Spirits…" He coughed and she could make out his stirring silhouette a meter away. "Kathryn, are you okay?"

"I'm alive," she answered, her coughs renewing as their movements kicked more dust into the air. She quickly checked her motor functions before she crawled closer to him, her hands immediately reaching out to search him for any injuries.

"I'm fine." He pushed her hands away and sat up, leaning against a large rock behind him. "Are you sure you're okay?" He coughed and rubbed his hands over his face.

She raised an eyebrow and sat on the ground beside him, her legs stretched out. "I'm fine." She repeated his words back to him. "We lost contact with Voyager."

"If we couldn't scan inside this cave, I don't see how communications could get out," he grumbled. Kathryn rolled her eyes and looked up at one of the small openings—barely large enough for light to get through, it did them no use.

A rock shifted loose and dropped from the roof to her forehead, forcing a sharp, "Damn it!" from her mouth. Her hand flew to her forehead and she rubbed the small indent the rock left, wincing as the pain radiated out through the rest of her head.

"What happened?" Chakotay was immediately on his knees over her, his gentle hands titling her head back.

"It was a rock, I'm okay. It wasn't that big." She leaned away and looked at him, aware of how close he had gotten so quickly.

His hand remained on her cheek, his thumb very gently moving over where the rock hit her. She cleared her throat, the coolness of the cave disappearing as her body began to warm up. She leaned back even more until her back felt the rough rocks littering the floor, her eyes never leaving Chakotay's face.

"You're not bleeding," he finally said, but it took him a few moments more before he finally sat back.

She sat up and looked around the cave, looking anywhere but at him. He was silent beside her, the only sounds coming from still-settling rocks and his constant shifting. Her heart raced, the sound loud enough in her ears she was surprised she couldn't hear it reverberating off the walls. Confused by her reaction, she tried to shove it down into the deep recesses of her mind and focus on their actual problem.

"Tuvok knows we were investigating this cave. When we don't check in, they'll send someone down." She pushed rocks aside to create a smoother sitting area, her body sighing in relief when nothing jabbed into it.

"We just sit tight until then."

"Not like we have much choice. Or anywhere else to go." Now that her eyes had adjusted to the dim lighting, she could make out how small of an area they were trapped in.

She estimated it was a little over a meter across in any direction and about half her height between the roof and the ground. It wasn't small enough to induce any feelings of claustrophobia and left enough room to move around, but it wasn't somewhere she wanted to be stuck for an extended period of time. Especially with Chakotay's warm body beside her.

A soft groan caught her attention and she looked back to Chakotay, immediately questioning if she had even heard it to begin with. She watched him shift from kneeling to sitting and heard no further noises from him.

"Are we going to sit in silence?" she finally asked.

"Do you have a discussion topic in mind?"

 _We could talk about why I feel like this every time you get close to me. Why I feel like I can't control myself or why I don't want to control myself._ The thoughts forced their way into her mind and took root; between her thoughts and her racing heart, Kathryn couldn't focus on anything else.

When she finally had her thoughts locked up again, she could feel he had moved closer again. His arm pressed against hers and his hand rested on the ground too close to her thigh for comfort. She thought about shifting away, but knew it would be too obvious now. Instead, she remained where she was and begged her body to behave.

Everything felt like it was spiraling out of control as her body started reacting to how close he was and how good he smelled, even covered in dirt and dust. She shifted her legs and pressed them together, hoping Chakotay didn't notice the change in her breathing.

"Are you okay?"

 _Shit_ , she groaned inwardly and dug her nails into the ground.

"Fine," she managed, cringing at how breathy her voice sounded.

"You don't seem fine."

"I'm fine. Just… dust in the air. It's fine." She shook her head and swallowed, her eyes closing tightly.

She felt him shift again beside her and then his hand was on her cheek again. She kept her eyes closed, but she could feel his breath against her forehead and struggled to keep herself under control.

"Does your head hurt?"

 _No, something else does._

"No."

"Can you breathe okay?"

"I'm fine." She opened her eyes and started to push him away, but her hands connected with his chest and he groaned. She stopped and didn't move her hands, worried she had hurt him. As the sound processed through her distracted mind, she realized it wasn't a groan of pain, but a groan of… "Chakotay?"

"Yes?" He looked down at her hands still against his chest and then up to her face, his voice almost as breathy as hers.

"Are you…"

"Fine."

She nodded and started to pull her hands back, but he pushed forward to maintain the contact. She immediately stopped and tangled her fingers in the fabric of his uniform jacket, her tongue darting out to wet her dry, dusty lips. Their eyes met briefly and then she was on the ground with his heavy weight on top of her.

She gasped in surprise and arched up against him, pressing their bodies together and eliciting another delightful groan from him. She matched his noise and then his mouth was against hers, his tongue quickly exploring her lips before moving inside. She moaned again and quickly pushed at his clothes, somehow managing to get his jacket on the ground beneath them and his shirt tossed somewhere.

He slid his hand under her jacket, but was only met with more Starfleet-issue clothes. He groaned in frustration and started to pull his hand back, but she rolled them over and settled on his thighs. Without hesitation, she pulled her jacket and tank off, his hands unhooking her bra before she could get her hands back there. Once her upper half was bare, he slid his hands along her sides and up over her breasts. His fingers danced over her nipples and then down the outer sides of her breasts. She pushed into his hands and rolled her hips against his, gasping at the warm length she could feel through his pants.

He pushed her pants down and rolled them over to get his own off, adding them to the pile of clothes beside them. He pressed against her again, his hands exploring the newly exposed flesh. She gasped beneath him, her fingers eagerly exploring the expanse of his back. Her hands made their way down to his ass, pushing him closer to her. They both gasped and she shifted to wrap one leg around him.

He sat back on his heels, earning an impatient huff from her, and slowly ran each individual finger down her inner thighs. He trailed his full hands back up to her where thighs met and very lightly brushed a finger over her sex. Her breath stuttered out a moan and she tilted her head back as he did it again, never doing anything more than teasing her. Her moans grew frustrated as he continued, her hips rising off the ground in search of anything.

He gave in and gently gripped her hips to keep her still, but pulled her body closer to his. They locked eyes and he hesitated for a brief moment before he pushed inside her, their mixed moans and shouts echoing around the cave. He paused for the briefest of moments and then pulled back, entering again as quickly as the first time. She wrapped her legs around him and he helped hold her against him, his thrusts erratic and forceful. He could feel his fingers bruising her hips, but neither cared as their lips came crashing together as forceful as his thrusts.

It didn't take long before she could feel the tightening in her core, Chakotay hitting the perfect spot every time. He held her closer, tighter, and shrieked as she came until she couldn't tell what was her and what was an echo. He thrust his hips forward several more times before he followed her over the edge, his groans mixing with her echoes.

He stayed connected with her until their breathing evened out before he rolled off and settled on the hard ground. A rock dug into his lower back, but his foggy mind barely noticed. Kathryn groaned beside him, one arm stretched out above her and the other resting across her stomach.

As her mind started coming back to her, she sat up and immediately reached for the closest piece of clothing. She tugged it in, realizing too late it was his undershirt. He sat up beside her and stared, a red flush starting to creep up his neck.

"What the hell?" She finally asked, but her voice held no anger, only breathless confusion.

"I-I'm sorry..." He rubbed the back of his neck and crossed his hands in his lap, both trying for some sense of modesty.

She was quiet for a moment. "Don't apologize. We don't... we don't know what happened." She nodded to punctuate her words and grabbed her own undershirt, quickly changing them and tossing his toward him.

He caught his shirt and they both slowly started dressing. Kathryn had her underwear on and Chakotay working on his pants when she heard a muffled voice from her jacket. She quickly scooped it up and grabbed her combadge, torn between cheering and cringing when she heard Tuvok's voice.

"Voyager to Captain Janeway our Commander Chakotay. Do you read?"

"Yes, Tuvok," she answered, absently smoothing her free hand through her hair.

"We managed to boost the com signal through the deflector dish to penetrate the cave. We have transporters as well."

Kathryn made eye contact with Chakotay and they both hurriedly finished dressing, Kathryn trying to keep her breath even as she responded. "Good work, Tuvok." She paused for a moment to make sure they were as suitable as possible. "Energize."

"Aye, Captain."

She closed her eyes just before the cave disappeared and Voyager greeted her when her eyes opened again. She immediately tapped her combadge again. "Tuvok, I'll meet you in my ready room in half an hour."

After his positive response, she fled the transporter room and hurried for her quarters.


	2. Chapter 2

After a warm, long, and cleaning shower, Kathryn had composed herself enough to be seen by her crew. She made her way to her ready room with a cup of coffee in hand and stopped just outside the turbolift when she saw the backside of Chakotay waiting by her doors.

"Commander?"

He turned around and smiled. "I was waiting for you and Tuvok." He nodded his head toward their chief security officer at his post.

Kathryn started to question him further, but decided she didn't want that in front of the rest of the bridge crew. "When you're ready then, Tuvok." She waited for his confirmation before she ushered Chakotay into her ready room; the doors couldn't close quickly enough. "What were you waiting for?"

"Me? Am I not allowed to be debriefed on what happened?"

"No, I didn't—That's not..." She stopped and groaned, quickly draining her coffee and immediately replicating another.

"You didn't want the see me." His voice was filled with firm finality and she closed her eyes.

"Chakotay..." She sighed and forced herself to open her eyes and look at them, her hands tightly clasping her mug of coffee close. "We can't—" Her door chimed and Kathryn felt her heart briefly jump into her throat before she composed herself. "Come in."

Tuvok entered and she sat on her couch, Chakotay sitting at the far end. Tuvok looked between them for a moment before offering a padd to her. "The Doctor identified the unknown compound concentrated around the cave." He paused and gave the padd a pointed look. "This is his report."

"Thank you. Is that all?"

Tuvok nodded and Kathryn quickly excused him, her eyes already hurriedly scanning the information. The doors barely closed behind Tuvok before she dropped the padd and threw her head back.

"Damn it!"

Chakotay silently stood and grabbed the padd from her lap, remaining standing while he read over it. "Oh."

"Pheromones? Seriously? Those aliens have a-a sex cave, and we happened to stumble upon it?!" She covered her face with her hands and groaned.

"A sex cave?" His voice was filled with amusement and she lifted her head to glare.

"You think this is funny?"

He shrugged. "A little."

"No, it's not! What we did down there..." She fell silent and leaned her head back again, completely at a loss for words.

Chakotay remained quiet for a few moments. "If it was that bad, Kathryn, we'll agree to forget it and move on."

"It's not that it was bad!" The words flew from her mouth before she could think about stopping them and she cringed. "It's that I wanted it outside of those pheromones. That I've thought about it before and I'm still thinking about it!" She looked at him, her eyes wide with her admission and her desperation to take it back.

"Then why haven't you done anything?" His words were slow, each one obviously chosen carefully.

"Because I can't. We can't." She stood up to be closer to eye level, her coffee abandoned and forgotten beside where she sat. "We have a ship to run, Chakotay, and nothing can get in the way of that."

"Why are you so convinced this would affect your ability to be a captain?" She started to respond, but he tossed the padd to the couch and held up his hand. "No, wait. These feelings aren't new for either of us. And they've done nothing to impact you as a captain or me as your first officer. So, why would admitting them cause that?"

She bit her lip and looked down, analyzing their spotless boots for several moments before she could look up. "Because I'm afraid," she finally admitted.

"Then let me help. We can take it slow, adjust and see what happens." His voice softened and he stepped closer until he could rest his hand on her shoulder. "We have 70 years."

"Are you sure." Her voice softened more than his until it was barely audible.

"I'm sure, Kathryn. Anything to give us a shot." He watched her, judging her reaction before he leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to her lips.

With the memory of earlier imbedded in her mind, she deepened the kiss and slowly wrapped her arms around him. He smiled and returned the kiss with as much as she gave, his hand moving from her shoulder to her waist.

"Is that a yes?" He asked quietly, their lips brushing.

"Yes." She offered a small smile and kissed him again. "Yes, it is."

"Then what do you say we try things of our own accord?" A small grin crossed his lips and she couldn't help her quiet laugh.

"Here?"

His grin only widened, only to disappear as she tangled her fingers in his hair and kissed him, erasing every question of her intentions from his mind.


End file.
